Author Topic: To our friends in the Brotherhood of Steal  (Read 1900 times)

Thieves Guild

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 50
    • View Profile
To our friends in the Brotherhood of Steal
« on: March 16, 2014, 17:11 »
To our friends in the Glorious Brotherhood of Steel,

Congratulations on your successful elections! It's always great to see that an esteemed group such as yourself is doing such a great job managing itself. Some of you who were present may have noticed a slight disturbance during the ceremony - this is most regrettable. Thieves Guild operatives were conducting a FREE unsolicited Security Review of the election as part of our New Customer Promotion Program (NCPP). One of your members was vigilant enough to notice a Guild member performing a standard penetration test, and cried out during the ceremony.

As part of the NCPP, we can provide the Security Review at no cost. Details won't be made public here, but consider these snippets from the report's Executive Summary:

Quote
...
Overall, the election's Total Combined Security Rating (TCSR) was 3.73 / 10 (37.3%; p = < 0.0005). Had it not been for the commendable vigilance of one BoS soldier in the crowd, this rating could have been as low as 2.04 (20.4%; p = < 0.01).
...
-Success rate of assassination attempt from non-BoS member: 78%
-Success rate of assasssination attempt from BoS member: 98%
-Success rate of Rogue attack: 71%
...

Please contact the Guild if you wish to receive the full report or additional security consulting at competitive rates. There are a number of serious security vulnerabilities which you will need to address. One more we will mention here is a critical one: our intelligence indicates the soldier who cried out during the ceremony now has claimed they lost 5000 caps. Our operatives notified us that caps were NOT among the items part of the security audit. More importantly, since our operatives were rendered combat-ineffective inside the election room, even if they had temporarily held the caps, they would have been picked up after said operatives were neutralized. So, who took the caps then? The report identifies 6 key suspects according to probability.


In closing, Friends, we must work together if we are to defeat the evil ones who raid our fair town of Shady Sands and turn it to chaos. You may think we are different, but we are the same: you are the Brotherhood of Steel, and we could to be called the "Brotherhood of Steal".

And to the rest of the wasteland, don't forget that Thieves Guild offers a variety of services!
Thieves Guild offers unique services to wastelanders and factions alike, including:

- car unlocking and key assigning
- intelligence reports on individuals or factions
- security audits of bases or towns
- human intelligence
- signals intelligence
- espionage
- reconnaissance
- background checks
- shopkeeper protection program
- covert shopkeeper procurement
- targeted theft
- locating lost or rare items
- cryptographic communications
- car sales
- banking & financial services
 
         

Contact your local Thieves Guild
representative today!

Warmest regards,



Zechs Merquise

  • *
  • Posts: 36
    • View Profile
Re: To our friends in the Brotherhood of Steal
« Reply #1 on: March 16, 2014, 17:14 »
Your a Looney!

Wesan

  • Developer
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2322
  • The one who smiled.
    • View Profile
Re: To our friends in the Brotherhood of Steal
« Reply #2 on: March 16, 2014, 17:59 »
I begin to regret giving Brotherhood "No shooting" order in ceremony time...

Rikers

  • Developer
  • Full Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 240
  • nazi pixel
    • View Profile
Re: To our friends in the Brotherhood of Steal
« Reply #3 on: March 16, 2014, 19:01 »
Trolling or not, I've gotta admit this post is a masterpiece 8)
vacation until further notice

Brotherhood of Steel HQ

  • Guest
Re: To our friends in the Brotherhood of Steal
« Reply #4 on: March 17, 2014, 16:56 »
To the criminal subjects acting as Thieves Guild.

The Brotherhood of Steel will never negotiate with unlawful organisations.

Brotherhood patrols were informed about the crimes the Thieves Guild commited inside our holy chambers,
and members of organized crime groups are to be court-martialed on the field.

End of transmission

barabbas

  • Guest
Re: To our friends in the Brotherhood of Steal
« Reply #5 on: March 17, 2014, 17:13 »
As legal counsel for the Guild, I feel it is my duty to respond to the Brotherhood. Please note this is only a semi-official response; I speak for the interests of the Guild but am not speaking for the Guild itself.

Since your response was quite brief, I can address all points raised:

Quote
To the criminal subjects acting as Thieves Guild.

Please don't slander us. We already are knees-deep in filing our slander case against the Government of NCR, another slander case (while profitable) would really overwork our legal team. None of our members are criminals - I would have hoped the BoS would be smart enough not to make assumptions without evidence.

Quote
The Brotherhood of Steel will never negotiate with unlawful organisations.
Good! Neither does the Thieves Guild.

Quote
Brotherhood patrols were informed about the crimes the Thieves Guild commited inside our holy chambers...
Now just hold on a minute. Not a single crime was perpetrated, and all goods connected with the security audit were returned to their owners. Did you not read the above?? Our detailed report is sitting collecting dust at our archives. We already offered to give it for free. Come on, there is pride, and there is being stubborn to your own detriment.

Quote
and members of organized crime groups are to be court-martialed on the field.
This is just confusing. Court-martial refers to punishing a member of your own military group. Are you saying you have BoS members who are part of organized crime groups? Then yes, they should be court-martialled (but not necesarily in the field, even in absentia would be apt for anyone who betrayed your glorious organization.)

As the Guild's lawyer, I also find it odd that this message only appeared AFTER I had exposed your Head Scribe's murderous, duplicitous activities in NCR. It looks like I hit a nerve, perhaps especially when I alleged BoS is planning to take over NCR. Since our evidence on this is incomplete (but still very convincing), I will refrain from stating such things publically, until our proof has been brought together in a formal report.


Thank you for your time, and moving forward, I hope our two great organizations can have a healthy and prosperous relationship.

Good Day!

Barabbas, Esq., Thieves Guild legal counsel


Thieves Guild

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 50
    • View Profile
Re: To our friends in the Brotherhood of Steal
« Reply #6 on: March 18, 2014, 02:32 »
Greetings again to our friends in the Glorious Brotherhood of Steel:

We are both disappointed and highly disturbed at recent communications directed at the Guild. In the spirit of good will, we shall attempt to rectify some misguided assumptions by the BoS and its Head Scribe.

Message from BoS
Quote
To the criminal subjects acting as Thieves Guild.

The Brotherhood of Steel will never negotiate with unlawful organisations.

Brotherhood patrols were informed about the crimes the Thieves Guild commited inside our holy chambers,
and members of organized crime groups are to be court-martialed on the field.

End of transmission

Brothers, do you have us confused with some other Thieves Guild? Have you not read our introductory topic? How can you refer to us as an "unlawful organization"? What have we ever done to you, aside from providing a FREE security audit? To be fair, we may have underestimated your group's fear of outsiders. Thus, Thieves Guild will no longer conduct any unsolicited security reviews of future meetings at your bunker.

However, this isolated event constitutes only the second time our two organizations have interacted. The first time was when one of our agents heroically sacrificed himself (numerous times, in numerous sets of his best gear) to aid the Brotherhood in defending Shady Sands from a raider attack.

Exhibit A. photo of bar abbas helping defend Shady Sands

So, given there are only two times we have interacted, we find it quite surprising, not to mention disheartening, that (according to your Head Scribe) we are now on your "permanent Kill On Sight list", and even worse, you will be ignoring all our future communications to yourself and the wasteland, and even censoring our communications on your board. As your friends, we strongly urge you to reconsider this approach, given that all we are guilty of is analyzing and improving your security infrastructure.

Speaking of your security infrastructure, we still await your response about our Security Report of the election. If we do not hear from you within 24 HRS, the full report will be made public. The report also systematically dispels all claims made by your Head Scribe about what exactly occurred during this incident, so we hope that if you do accept it, you at least give her the chance to detract her erroneous comments.

Lastly, in the name of good relations and mutual respect, the Thieves Guild is honored to offer the Brotherhood of Steel a set of our best Navy Armor. We hope that by studying the advanced polymers, you can improve your legendary Brotherhood Armor even more. Please let us know where and when to drop it off, and it will be delivered. And please, don't be unimaginative and say you 'cannot accept our donation', or something similar. You are much better than that, and we genuinely want to donate to your Brotherhood. We will await your reply about this, and about our Security Report. Thank you for your time.

With hopes of a bright future between our two glorious organizations,